a question of self

I can't be sure about readers but alot of the commenters here are bloggers too. Do you keep your blog a secret?

The most recent example of blogger dismay was Stephanie of Strawberry Milkshakes who is starting a fresh blog so people at school won't read it, and possibly to get away from some negative commenters (Stephanie, not sure whether it was appropriate to link the new blog now if it's a secret??). When I started this blog it was just a little project I didn't really mention but now almost everyone I know is aware of it. I'm very proud to tell people but highly embarrassed about them actually reading it. I seem to include things that aren't strictly fashion here but I do keep personal parts of my life away, i.e. guys, problems, stresses, etc. Essentially the things I write here are my thought processes and it's strange when someone that I know would read them and see how much I think about an every day outfit. Sometimes I find myself repeating exact sentences I've have written on here when talking to people because I just type what flows through my fingers and therefore speak whatever I think (often with bad results!).

Contrary to a whole blog centred around me, I don't really like talking about myself! I'm very self conscious of jabbering on about myself as I hate people who only talk long windidly about their own lives and have no interest in others. I love divulging to people that I have a website (website sounds so much more professional than blog!) that people actually take time to read but if I have to show them it's like they're seeing me naked. I feel they may think I find myself extremely interesting!

Also it may seem a bit weird that I take loads of photos of myself in the mirror. Thankfully I've only been caught a few times but I have to be very careful of who sees me walking into the bathroom with a camera! Last night at the Bop I spoke to a girl who added me on Facebook because she'd read Flying Saucer. It's very weird that someone who just happened to live in the same halls as me happened to find this, and I know a few commenters are from Manchester so when someone gives me a second glance I often think maybe they've visited here once?

I don't think a blog could reach a certain level of readership or success if people around you weren't aware of it and then wanted to see it. I project an image of myself on here and it's very strange for friends to see that part when they know me in a different way. That said, I know some of my friends like Melissa read here regularly and it opens discussions about things I've posted because we have similar interests. Another friend once told me that she doesn't need to read here because she knows me in real life already; maybe she just can't be bothered!

A few critical comments around here recently has made me question how I'm willingly putting myself up for scrutiny. I don't mind this, infact I believe a blog has only made it once the bad comments arrive! But I guess I'm wary of being judged as thinking I'm extremely fashionable and know what I'm talking about, which most of the time I very much don't! I don't have blog business cards and I do take pleasure in sitting in lectures with no one knowing I go home and type to the world every night. I think I'm at a happy medium of a few people around me knowing, but in the end is there really anything to keep secret? Unless I want to start confessing 'dear diary' type thoughts I guess it's ok to have minor exposure. With the blog so accessible, I don't think it's possible to hide and I have realised that most people look on with admiration rather than judgement. It is weird when people you encounter have already read all about your life though. Do you tell all about your blog?

Comments

[Stephanie]

It's alright, I don't mind you linking up with my new blog. I think I might have to give up on stopping people at my school from reading it, though - I just found out that someone else got the address by commenting and leaving their email! I do realize that yes, this is the internet, so obviously it's nearly impossible to keep things like this private. So the new blog will be staying despite that.

However, I definitely agree with you about the whole "different image" part. I almost never talk about clothing/fashion with my friends, who have zero interest in that sort of thing, and so having people see this other side of me is a bit uncomfortable. But I guess I'll just have to accept it, and pray that this little bit of notoreity will die down soon...

[gingerbell]

no i don't tell. i don't want to have to hold back or worry of what other people are going to think or say about me - which really only applies to people i know or who knows me.
there is a blog: byranboy.blogspot.com , you'll find how a nobody blogger from the third world eventually grew into international stardom - to the point where marc jacobs is naming a bag after the guy - err, or gay, lol. cool huh.

[gingerbell]

no i don't tell. i don't want to have to hold back or worry of what other people are going to think or say about me - which really only applies to people i know or who knows me.
there is a blog: byranboy.typepad.com , you'll find how a nobody blogger from the third world eventually grew into international stardom - to the point where marc jacobs is naming a bag after the guy - err, or gay, lol. cool huh.

[gingerbell]

sorry did i type that addy correctly? i meant byranboy.typepad.com

[Dustcakeboy]

I'm not exactly open about my blog when it comes to the circle of friends. Attending an all-boys Catholic school which isn't exactly encouraging re:style-blogging[even if it is menswear] is most definitely one of my infernal pet hates.

To close friends, if it comes up in convo I'll inform them but most might read once or twice since they're not particularly interested.

However, although my blogging style isn't distinctly personal, the blog does list links to profiles of mine that divulge my orientation! *gasp* So I guess that's open in a some sort of way...

I've rambled! Lawl!

/DCB.

[The Clothes Horse]

My blog is kept fairly secret, only a few select friends know about it and I know they don't really visit. I felt very sympathetic for Stephanie; she was getting terrible comments and she had a right to remain anonymous and not feel judged. I also sometimes feel ego-centric about my blog, so not really a side of myself I want to show people! Like, "why yes, I do take pictures of myself every day, because I am just so gorgeous..." That's not how I am or feel, so I don't want people I only partially know to get that message!
And in regards to your comment, I agree I shouldn't be afraid to speak up. I am quiet and do sometimes keep my opinion to myself (but not with close friends), but I'm never really swayed by others' opinions and I think that is important. I may be quiet, but I'm not subdued!

[N]

Good question.

I've posted the link of my blog on some of my profiles, i don't post any photos of myself so i don't feel as embarassed as i could do. I have miniscule self-confidence so i don't post my outfits.

I do self-edit when i post as well, i don't want to say anything too personal or mention names. I do try to 'write like myself' though. I haven't told my family about my blog, i think they would wonder why i was doing it, since i wear slouchy clothes all day.

[Alana]

This happened to one of my friends with his YouTube account. He's kind of an aspiring actor, if you will, and made short, funny, videos for YouTube..
A month ago he was featured on the front page and EVERYONE at school saw it, and now he's like the laughingstock of my high school and everyone thinks of him differently. He ended up deleting his account because it got so bad, and his videos were REALLY REALLY good.. it's really sad.

[Winnie]

Mine is relatively secret, No one knows about it apart from my best friend who glanced fleetingly at it once, and my housemate who recently started her own. It was strange at first knowing that she reads it and sees my photos...but as shes started her own now it's less wierd.

I haven't added a link on my facebook either, because i do want to keep some sort of anonymity...
How wierd for someone who doesn't know you, to add you because they read your blog.
Blogs are a strange thing.

[Bouncing Evil Ginner]

Mine's also fairly secret - I wouldn't want random people coming up to me saying "Errr why do YOU have a style blog?" for example. I don't think it would be that bad, particularly now I'm older. But I don't think my friends have that much of an interest in fashion anyway. I've only just divulged that I procrastinate by reading fashion blogs!! I don't think it's that I'm ashamed, more that it does take time out of my day and a lot of times I do say "Argh I'm just too busy" or don't have time to do things. I suppose that excuse could be seen to have gone once I say I've got a style blog.

[Lady Julianne le Fay]

Mine isn't really secret, but I don't really encourage people I know to look at it. a) they might think I was being self-obsessed with the photos of my self, and b) I'm not into typical fashion, so they would be bemused! Some of the friends I've had for a long time might be quite shocked to know I have a fashion blog - I never was interested in clothes when I was at school.

Once I told my creative writing class that I wrote a fashion blog, and they all looked at me strangely and then I had to explain that I hadn't dressed very interestingly that day because I was ill...it was horrible!

[parmaviolet]

I don't tell anyone about my blag. But its pretty small scale anyway so i don't really have much need to worry of people finding it (thanks for the link btw). Pus no-one i know is properly into fashion enough to go looking at fashion blogs.

But i don't want people to know as for a start I'd be slaughtered at school where fashion is still very much split into the preps and the emos. PLus its amost embarrassing, especialy as i sometimes post outfit things. its a very self indugent thing to do i think (no that thats bad) but i think if people i knew in real life knew about it they would frown upon it sighty. That said my close friends i could probably trust but i just dont feel the need to tell anyone.

damn ive rambled so sorry. this ould practicaly be whole post.

[Diana Rikasari]

I actually tell my friends about my blog, but I keep it as a secret from my family. But even when most of my friends know, there's only about 2 friends that are regular readers while the others don't seem to care cuz they just aren't interested in reading blogs nor fashion (which I admit wud be the main discussion on my blog). I do put a LOT of photos of myself in the blog, not to somehow expose myself and say 'yo people look at me I'm gorgeous or awesome' but rather just to share and provide inspirations on how I dress and how readers might dress as well...that's all...:)

[Diana Rikasari]

oh, and i also often write personal stuffs on my blog but i keep it to the limit where it does not mention any names in a negative way. I don't mind sharing my daily life. I actually feel that the readers become my new friends that I share with :)

[nele]

I realy do like your blog and hope that you do not get disturbed too much by strange comments. I changed my own blog to a photoblog after my semester abroad and I even deleted a lot of texts I have been posting because I thought it was getting to personal. Please keep on posting the way you do now.

[Penny]

I used to have a blog back when I was 14, and it was very personal. For some reason, it became popular. I guess it might have been cause it was linked to a webpage I used to have on animation. I don't know. I never really felt ashamed of writing on it since no one in my grade was into animation or blogs.
Then I told one of my guy mates about it, cause I was making a webpage for his band. He made fun of what I wrote and told everyone in my grade. Not good times. It got to the point where I erased my whole hard-drive (something I really regret).

Moving on though, I guess I really missed writing online. I think it's about sharing your opinions with a wider range of people. While I know the risk of IRL people reading it, I don't feel that I should be scared of it. Of course, I also don't feel that I should go around screaming the address. (I guess that's where the whole "thinking I'm too interesting" thing comes).

I guess the difference between the 14-year-old me and now is that while I still keep most of my opinions to myself, I am no longer so ashamed of them.

[Penny]

gosh! that was a massive post!

[Leah]

I hate telling people I have a website. It's not so much that I'm ashamed of it, but just because, as you said, I don't think that people I know in the real world will 'get it'. I think most wouldn't think I was into fashion (of sorts) and craft and what have you. I've been around people who do I about it when they mention it to other people and in that situation I think I've gone to the extent of refusing to tell people the url because I just don't want them to find it. I think it'll take a while to be comfortable with telling people... besides, you know the kind of people in the girls school of joy which I stupidly continued at... not all are the most understanding.

[FashionFillers]

No, I actually never tell any one. Coincidentally, yesterday a girl at my work asked me what I wanted to study, so from fashion design we came to my 'personal fashion life' (or how you want to call it), and because of that we came to my blog. So she asked me how the page is called, so she could check it out. Although she was interested, I still felt quite embarrassed to tell her. Cause there is actually no one I know reading my blog.

And a few weeks back, there was a bit of gossipping around at my high school. I really don't care about what others think of me, but I still felt a bit embarrassed, just because it were people I see everyday. Even of my teachers asked me some questions about my website in front of the whole class (we were sitting in a circle, actually discussing about politics and stuff)! It's just embarrassing to tell things about your blog in front of people you see a lot, because you don't want them to check out the website, and they'll laugh at you the next day because of the things you wrote, personal outfit shots and extraordinary things you like. OK, if they were all fashion design students or something, but they're not. No one of them is interested in fashion. At our school you are called 'fashionable' if you do LABELDRESSING.
You just don't want to be missunderstood because of the reason you own a blog.

[cordelia]

For me, my style blog is just my style blog. I admit I occassionally mention my private life but just a tiny bit or else usually not too much in detail or only things that don't matter too much. I have a seperate blog for my private life which I don't show everyone I know (just a few select friends) and for some reason I don't mind the people who read my style blog reading em. Thankfully I don't go to school and I am not working, I have never shown my ex-colleagues my blog anyhow. I find it awkward, can't really explain it. I am not some fashion guru and I don't want anyone to think that I am pretending to be.

[Penny]

I have the opposite problem! It seems as though nobody reads my blog, other than one or two friends. I have the URL for it on my myspace page and everything! How do you go about getting your blog known (short of handing out business cards!). How did blogs such as Kingdom of Style or Style Bubble etc get so popular and well known?

[miss woo]

I told a few close friends but as most of them are not really as interested in fashion it doesn't really cause much notice.

I tend to stray away from talking about anything too personal on it though, I guess I'm still paranoid that people I know (but don't want them to know) will read it!

[whimsical nerd]

interesting post, I have often wondered the same.

My family and very close friends know about my blog, but I wouldn't want it to become common knowledge. To someone who has spent no time reading fashion blogs, it is easy to assume that taking a photo of oneself every day is quite the egotistical exercise. It also opens one up to ridicule about whether or not they have the 'authority' or 'sense of style' to be blogging about such things.

[susie_bubble]

Ah... how odd that I have the opposite problem....
I sort of get the blog talked about by other people.... instead of me telling them about it... find it quite strange actually....
I still don't really like to tell people about it unless it is in a professional capacity.

[meg]

the only person who knows about my blog apart from myself, is my boyfriend. this is actually my first time commenting here but i do read it on a semi-regular basis (i find it weird actually because we both live in manchester & are students & from your photos, go to some of the same places!). i think i would like to get my blog out there as it were, but i am afraid that no-one would like what i say so i guess its the fear holding me back. one day i hope this won't be the case.

[Lady Smaggle]

I absolutely tell people about my blog. The reason I started it was because people were constantly asking where I bought my clothes and I thought I might as well start a blog. My close friends are so wonderful and supportive and they comment and write me emails about how I've helped them. My mum reads it everyday and does spelling and grammar checks for me. My grandparents even read it! Having said that I didn't really spread it that I had a blog it was more my mum and I warned people that they may find some of the stuff offensive but I make no apologies for it. I swear but I don't censor it anyone. I like people that I know reading my blog because they all seem to really like it and keep coming back for more!

[Linda]

I don't tell anyone about my blog. I would much rather avoid an awkward conversation. Ahaha. My friends are rather critical, to be honest. Not in a bad way, but you can't deny it. I shudder when I think about people finding out about my blog; I'm not good with dealing with awkward situations, so I even avoid taking pictures of myself in outfits I wear frequently so people won't recognize anything!

[Stephie]

Would have to agree with Susie that I don't really advertise the fact that I am a fashion blogger unless it is related to work for the blog, or at fashion events.

However, most of my close friends know about it, and its always fun to chatter on about how the blog is doing.

[evie]

looks like many people don't tell their friends about their blog - i thought i was the odd one out but i feel more "normal" now. other than a few of my good friends, i don't really like telling ppl about my blog because for one thing i guess i'm a bit shy and i also know that they won't "get" it. although my blog is a bit of a mix between fashion and some personal stuff, i still feel like it's a world for only like-minded ppl if you know what i mean... the worst is having someone not get it and be mean to you about it, so i try to avoid that whenever possible.