A HELLO!

Hello! Hi everyone :) Hi! Sort of want to stop right here and retreat and delete as I really don't want to make this post but I want to apologise for my absence for so long! Things haven't really been great recently and things have changed a bit with where I'm staying but I'm OK! Some days it's tempting to to throw myself into one of Bristol's many rivers or drown myself in my own baths of tears but I've so far resisted (I kid, sort of). Some rubbish things happened and I'm usually an eternally positive, independent person but I've got just about no self esteem, faith and worth right now, and any trickle of hope is leaking into the cracks of a completely shattered spirit. I don't really remember what I felt like before all this and that's the worst thing as I just feel like nothing! Work is still great though so I live for the 9-5 and I've seen some home friends recently which is fab, but generally the rest of the time I don't quite know what to do with myself anymore. I had to stay with my sister for a while in Cardiff and she and her very lovely, accommodating housemates are amazing, but going to Bristol and back each day and with all my belongings under her stairs in boxes, it wasn't really a dream blogging situation! I've got a really cute room now but I don't go to Bristol town anymore so I haven't been browsing or shopping, just staying inside really! Hence why putting yourself right out there on the internet just didn't happen even though I've missed blogging.

Amist all this was the highlight of maybe the year and my mini career so far was the bloggers evening I organised at Motel! Hopefully you did see it across many blogs as I tried to invite as many as possible and I think people had fun! I had lots of help from the lovely Motel ladies and some marvelous interns and student ambassadors, and of course it was full of girly treats and the current collection that I lovelovelove and don't want to stop promoting. The event was quite bitter sweet as it fell at such bad timing but hopefully there will be another that will be purely wonderful. I'm going home for Christmas at the end of the week which I'm thinking will make it a bit gruelling to then come back down to Bristol in the new year but who knows what will happen in 2012! Half hoping that it will be nothing as I want to walk round in a coat covered in spikes.

Well there you go, nothing more will be mentioned again! I don't put too much personal stuff on my dear old blog anyway but I'll start posting again as of course with work, I am still fashion and beauty obsessed. So again I'm sorry for disappearing and thank you for sticking around, I'll just go back now to sorting my socks or dusting or whatever I seem to spend my time doing nowadays! Much love xx

Comments

[Enyboa]

I've been reading your blog for over a year now and have never commented, but reading this broke my heart! I know how easy it is for a stranger to say "chin up" but I really hope things turn around for you and 2012 is an awesome year for you in all aspects of your life! Stay strong xx

[Cheryl]

Thanks for updating! I'm really sorry to hear that things haven't been going so well for you. I hope things will get better soon, and hopefully the festive season will cheer you up! Merry Christmas!

[Zoe]

I'm glad you're back Selina and what you're feeling is natural, I hope all your positivity and confidence will return to you very soon as you deserve it.

The bloggers evening looked incredible! Just the sort of event I'd love to go to because this season's Motel is stunning!!

Happy Christmas! Enjoy it x

[WendyB]

Sorry you're going through a bad time!

[Laura]

You are my absolute favourite blogger, I've been reading for years but have never commented before. Just wanted to say that I'm so happy to see you're back but am saddened to hear you've had a rough couple of months. Hope next year is better for you x

[kirsty]

Hi Selina! Like everyone else who is commenting, I really love your blog and have been reading for years but rarely comment.

I hope you're feeling better soon, really sad to hear you've been going through such a hard time. Take as much time out from blogging as you need, I hope you know that all your readers will be waiting for you whenever you want to come back to it because we all enjoying your blog so much!

Hope you have a lovely christmas. xx

[Jemma]

So glad to have you back!

[Laura]

Love reading your blog and have also never commented before.
Hope it gets better for you Selina, and that the new year brings good news. We all need time to just chill away from stuff for a while, so we're all gonna be understanding, don't worry! xo

[Aisling]

Selina hope you're ok! It's nice to have you back, you have been missed! I hope this makes me feel slightly better :) xx

[Sarah]

Hope you start to feel ok soon, we missed you!
X x x

[Colleen]

Aw, I'm sorry bad things are happening to you :( It sounds like you've got your living situation sorted out now. I'm sure everything will be better soon. 2012 is a new year! Don't let the haters get you down.

[Claire]

I really hope things get better Selina, I've felt like that before too for long periods of time and it really does drain you. Really hoping you have the wonderful Christmas you deserve,

xxx

[Laura]

Gutted you're feeling blue Selina, you're an amazing person and hopefully all will come good soon! xxxx

[Faye]

Aww hope u feel better soon, I've missed your blog and youtube vids lots.

have a lovely Christmas :)

xx

[Hannah]

hun i hope you're okay. have really missed your blogs. i hope things improve for you soon xxx

[Em]

I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm sure that staying with your family will make you good and you'll come back with new energy! Bad times do happen but they end up coming to an end, so keep on and someday you'll wake up with a smile on your lips again! On the while, do know that we totally support you!!

[Harriet]

Hey Selina,

so sorry you've been going through such a crap time. I hope your ok, just look after yourself - we all think you are wonderful!

xx

[Leah]

Selina, so sad to hear you're having a bad time. I've no idea what specifics are, but having been through what felt like an awful time earlier this year (where, as you say, all you can remember feeling is the abyss that surrounds you now) I can imagine what you're feeling. Anyway, I can't purport to make you feel better, BUT, I just want you to know, that if you ever need a friend in Bristol, don't hesitate to give me a call (literally speaking, I presume you still have my number!)
Hope you have a pleasant time at home (I'm throughly enjoying being back for the moment) and let's both hope that 2012 brings on calmer waters for all. Much love xxx

[Style Eyes Ethical Fashion Blog]

Really sorry that you have been having such a hard time. Hoping for a much better 2012 for you.

[winnie]

Aww man, it sucks to hear you've had such a crappy time lately, I did wonder where you'd gone but that sucks about the housing situation. I do hope that 2012 brings you lots more luck on that front.

On the plus side, it'll be lovely to be back with the family for a while and if you fancy a coffee, you know I'm just a text away! :)

[Amy]

Aww keep your chin up hun and remember that after the storm there is always calm. Sending you lots of happy thoughts and hugs. Really hope you have a swell Xmas and things get better ASAP! P.S. I know I don't even know you so don't think I'm weird lol, but I hate to see anyone feel like this so I'd gladly come visit you and cheer you up - a train ride is nothing, or come to London - cake and hot choccie on me :) Either way when I'm feelin down I find being around people, especially the fun sort helps, so don't be lonely hun xxx

[Rebecca]

I have missed your blogging so much! So sad to hear you are going through a rough patch, hope it all gets better for you soon! Sending you positive vibes :) x

[HEADLESS]

Sorry to hear you are going through a bad time right now. Please get well soon i'm sure things will turn around for you soon.

[emilymews]

Oh Selina, that is so sad :( I really hope that things turn around for you very very soon, you really deserve it. You should never lose faith in yourself, you are unique and inspiring, and we all think you are amazing! :) xx

[Suzy]

Hi Selina, it's great to see you back. I'm sorry you've had a rough time lately. I hope things get better for you and hope you have a great Christmas. All the best for 2012 :) xx